I drove home that day, Giddy as school boy. Finally I was going to have my kids more. Finally I was going to be able be a dad.. Not just a visitor.
The next morning, I reached out to one of my employees who had told me that he has a family lawyer in the family. I got as much info on this lawyer as possible, and decided that I needed to call him. My employee had ranted and raved about this guy, and that he was good at what he does, and that I wouldn’t be disappointed.
I walk into my first meeting with the new Lawyer, whom we will call “Andy.” At first impression Andy was young… well put together, and confident. My alpha male attitude was immediately thinking that this was not going to be a good fit. I .. Couldn’t.. be .. More .. Wrong..
Not more than 15 minutes into my meeting with Andy, I was pouring my heart out to him. 8 years of the hell I had been going through, was quickly laid out on this guy. He took it like a champ. He sympathized for me, but also told me where I had gone wrong and where I had been an asshole.
I’m not sure about the rest of you .. but my experiences with lawyers goes as follows… Visit lawyer, leave, wait for them to draft an email or letter to lawyer, wait , wait, wait for a reply from your ex’s lawyer, annnnd repeat…..
Not this time… Dude literally wrote up a draft email to my ex on the spot. He laid out different options of custody for her, acknowledged her consent for a 50/50 agreement, told her he could act as both of our lawyers to keep costs down.. which why not?? Its just an agreement that needs to be whipped up right?
Within an hour and a half, Andy wrote up a draft email, a fancy little graph that would show Trudy which days she had the kids, and which days I had the kids, and a proposal regarding on going child support, and expenses.
Man.. this guy IS good.
I left feeling great. Feeling like finally someone had my back. This guy could see right through all the bullshit that I had been put through, he could see that she wasn’t acting or thinking rationally the past few years.
I think I waited about a week for a reply from her. I was so excited to get her reply to see which custody schedule worked best for her. In my head, I was already planning my next few months out and what I was going to do with my kids, where we were gonna go.. when we were gonna go fishing etc.
Then it came…….
She wasn’t agreeing. I cant even make this up.. her reply was simply that I misunderstood our conversation. That she doesn’t feel it would be in the best interest of the children to take them away from their friends, activities, and school…. Wait.. what? Read that again. “not in the best interest of the kids to take them away from their friends, activities, and school”
I don’t think I ever said I was taking them away from those things. We live in the same city… why would I take them from their school? Why would they not be able to see their friends?? and… lastly… I take my son to his sports on the weekend that i have my kids now… sooooooo how is that a thing?
She claims that what we talked about was a small increase in time with the kids. That she thinks giving me every second weekend, and every Monday is what we discussed.
Guess I was at a different discussion, because that’s NOT what was discussed.
Andy writes to me, “doesn’t seem like she is on the same page, and doesn’t have any valid points, call me to discuss”
Immediately I call him and ask him what world she is living in? That I don’t quite understand how her concerns are even valid.
After a lengthy discussion we discuss our options.
Before I tell you guys what my decision was…. my question is ..
What would you have done?? Comment in the comments and let me know!!
Would you accept her offer of every second weekend and every Monday??
Would you keep pushing for equal time?
Let me know!!