Easy Advice for a Tough Situation

Series of Unfortunate Events.

Seeing her father walk in instantly made my stomach feel sick. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well.

As he walked in, a good friend of mine just happened to be coming over for a visit. It also just so happened that his dad was chief of police. So at least I had that in my corner.

I was in my room starting to pack up my things when Trudys dad walked in. My friend Tyler stayed in the hallway confused as to what was going on.

The first thing that came out of his mouth was “are you happy that you ruined my daughters life?” I asked “how did I ruin her life, I’m not going anywhere, I’m gonna be in our childs life” He replied with “not if I have anything to do about it” I just said “ok, well we will let her make that decision”

He started in about my family. Apparently my aunt is a whore because she has been married twice, and i’m a “bottom of the barrel type person” My family is good for nothing, and my aunts and uncles dont even like me.

And then he made a comment that I wasn’t about to let slide.

He said my mom was a slut, and that my own father didn’t want me.

Wellllllll I wasn’t going to let that slide. I grabbed him and pushed him against the wall, and I told him “You can say whatever you want about me, but you will not talk about my mother like that”

My buddy Tyler heard the slam against the wall when Trudy’s dads head bounced off of it. He asked “Hey Jay.. everything good in there, do you need me to call my dad?” I replied with a simple ” yep, everything is fine, Trudys dad is just leaving”

I let go of him, and he didn’t argue, he knew that this wasn’t going to end well for him, and he left.

With the help of Tyler, I was able to finish packing up my things and hauling them next door to my grandmas. I got a text from Trudy, and she asked how things went with her dad, I told her that things could have went better, but hes been gone for a while. .. Trudys dad never home returned that night.

The next day I had to figure out what I was going to do moving forward. I didn’t have any time-off coming for a few more weeks at Christmas time, and I didn’t want to stay with my grandma. One of my friends offered me a bed till I could figure my stuff out, so I took him up on his offer and stayed with him

Trudy wasn’t allowed to see me. One thing I haven’t mentioned yet was that Trudy was still in High School. She was in grade 12, soooo 17 turning 18, and I had JUST turned 25. I know i’m going to take a lot of backlash for that. And I get it.. ideally maybe not the best choice.

During the month of December, we didn’t see each other. We weren’t allowed to. We chatted via text, and sent pictures and emails, but were not allowed to see each other. I’m not sure if her parents thought she might get re-pregnant or what? Trudys uncles tried to intervene, and get some dialogue started between myself and Trudys parents, but her dad was having none of it. We were at a stalemate. He was going to make this difficult.

I spent Christmas with my parents back in my home town, and the entire time I was there, I was looking for apartments back in the city. I didn’t want to go back to my friends place, and well really, I was going to be a dad. I needed my own place. I was able to find a cute little apartment in the city, and it was going to be ready for Dec 28. That was perfect.

I called Trudy to let her know that I found a place and that Id be moving in as soon as I got back to the city. She decided she was moving in with me. This caught me a little off guard. How was that going to be allowed if she cant even see me? Turns out Trudy had a plan. She was gonna up and move out of her parents house while they were at work. I wasn’t sure how I felt about this. I mean, I wanted her in my life, and I wanted our child, but deep down I wanted her family to accept it and be ok with it.

Screw it… I love Trudy and I gotta make this work.

I agreed to pick her up one day at lunch. She would have all of her stuff packed and we would load it into my truck and she would move in with me.

December 31st was the day we moved in with each other. Our first night in our new place was New Years Eve. Even though there was soo much negativity around our situation, that New Years was an amazing night. I had the love of my life with me, our child brewin in her tummy, and our new little place. It was amazing.

The next few months were absolute hell with her family. No matter what, I told Trudy that she had to stay and finish school. So she stayed in school, getting larger by the day. Her parents had dis-owned her. They werent talking to her, her brothers werent talking to her. All she had was myself and my family. They stepped up and took her in as their own.

Then something started happening….. I started getting phone calls and messages from ex girlfriends, asking why Trudys parents are trying to reach out to them. Girls that I had dated 5, 10 years ago. They were calling my exes to see what kind of person I was. Then they started calling ex employers- asking them what kind of person I was. (to this day I have NO idea how they even knew who I had worked for in the past) They even called my parents to see if everything I had told them about myself was true.

It didn’t stop there.

Next I would see her dad parked out side of our apartment.. .just watching. Never coming in, never confronting me, just sitting there.

One day I had a police officer show up at my door. He explained that he was investigating a hit and run that my truck had been involved in. This didn’t make sense.. I hadn’t been in a hit and run. Supposedly I rear ended someone, and then the person behind me rear ended me. I told him if that was true, then I would have damage on my truck. Lets go take a look. We walked out to my truck, and noticed that my rear bumper was pulled out a bit… he said. “this damage is consistent with being rear ended” I explained that no, my truck had been stuck in the snow, and I had to hook it on the bumper and it was bent because it pulled the bumper out.. And that if I had been rear ended, it would be pushed in” He agreed. I asked who filed this report…. Trudys dad.

I let it go.. told him I didn’t know anything about it, but that he must have the wrong vehicle.

Few months later, It was time for Trudys graduation. Her dad refused to show up. He didn’t show up at the grad, or the supper. My parents were there for her though. They drove 4 hours to be there to support her because they knew her family wasn’t going to be there. Again, she was welcomed with open arms, and was loved by everyone in our family.

Trudy graduated on June 27th. Our son was born July 4th. With Trudy being done school, we could finally start our lives. Trudy stuck to her guns and decided that she didn’t need her parents. If they couldn’t accept me, or our child, how could she ever love them and want them in her life. After a few months of living in the city we had decided to move to my home town. After all, we had support there. We had love there.. Why not? Trudy had nothing keeping her here.. Maybe this would be easier on our relationship–

Unfortunately not.

thebarkingdad@gmail.com

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