Easy Advice for a Tough Situation

Loss of a brother.

What do you do? I called out his name.. Obviously no reply. I refuse to get into the details of what I seen that day. That will live with me for the rest of my life.. and only me.
I called 911 as quickly as I could. They wanted to me get help. I quickly ran out the door to look for help. Going outside was like a scene from a movie. I looked around… it was like a ghost town. No one was around. I yelled help.. No one. I ran to a neighbors house who also happens to be a friend of the family. They are gone on holidays. I go to my parents house. They too are gone on holidays. I go to their neighbors… no one home. Finally down the street, I see my cousin. Out of breath from running around, I muster out his name, and yell that I need help. I meet him, and jump into his truck, and explain what is happening. I need his help to remove my brother from his resting place.

Walking back into his house was nothing short of entering a haunted house. Knowing what I was about to see again worried me, and scared me. “What is their to be scared of though? Its my friend.. my brother.”

We walked into the house, and we quickly removed him from the doorway. 911 was still on the phone. They were talking me through it, trying to keep me calm until the paramedics showed up.

We covered Darcy with a sheet, and stood back and tried to process what just happened. What seemed to be an eternity, the paramedics, and police both showed up. I left the house, and stood by my car…. in complete shock. Finally a police officer came over to me and asked if I would provide a statement. I agreed. I gave my statement, and during the statement he asked if Darcy had any family. I explained his parents are split up, and live in separate towns. He asked if I knew how to get a hold of them, I said I did, but that his dad was out of town, so he cant be reached. He asked if I would accompany him to tell Darcy’s mother. Again… fear came over me. I loved this woman like she was my own mother. I haven’t seen her in months, how am I going to tell her that her son is gone.

Fear present, I agreed. We drove to her house, and I walked to the door. She answered and had the biggest smile on her face. That smile quickly turned to fear, fear turned to shock, and shock turned to sadness. As we stood there, and she seen the police officer at my side, she knew. She wept, and I held on to her tight. I couldn’t cry though. Was I a bad person for not crying? Why am I not crying?…. then the second most horrible thing that has ever happened to me happened. Darcy’s little sister walked in wondering what was going on. I had to explain to her that Darcy had died. As expected… more crying.. but still, I couldn’t. What was going on.

After the police officer spoke with Darcy’s mom and explained to her what the next steps were, I was taken home. On the drive home, I called Trudy to explain that I wasn’t going to be able to take the kids that weekend. Trudy knew Darcy very well, and I expected some compassion, and maybe even a little sadness from her. Nothing. Instead I got… “well I was planning on going away this weekend.. ” Umm.. Are you kidding me? Our sons god father, once your good friend has passed away… and you’re worried about your weekend? Anyways.. I told her that I wasn’t coming back this weekend. That I had stuff to deal with here… she replies with “I guess I don’t have a choice”…. Nope you sure don’t.

That evening, my sister came from 4 hours away, I had a bunch of our old friends at my parents house, lots of drinks.. and we talked. Talked and reminisced about our good friend Darcy. There were tears shed, laughs had, and even moments of anger. …. One constant though.. I hadn’t cried..

We were sitting around, and as I looked around.. I noticed the 15 or so people that were there. We were all there for one reason. Darcy. A couple exes were there, getting along. A couple guys that didn’t like each other were there, but getting along because of one common denominator. Darcy.

I gave a quick lil smile that i’m sure no one noticed.. and I reached for my phone. I knew Darcy would be happy that we were all there chatting about him, and getting alone. I needed to log onto face book and say my good bye. I logged on, and started typing. When I started, I had no idea what I was going to say, but it came pouring out of me. I hit send.

Then I did what I was worried was never going to happen.

I cried.


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