Easy Advice for a Tough Situation

Custody-Mediation.

I remember waking up that morning thinking “man, this is gonna suck.” This was really the first time since our split, that I was going to be spending time with Trudy…. well any significant time. I had no idea what to think going into this thing. I made the trek down to this medium sized hi-rise building. I was early, and super happy to be early. I wanted to beat her there to show her I was serious, and wasn’t playing around. Well, she beat me. There she was… my worst enemy. I hated her soooo much, but lovvvvvved her so much. At this point in time, I still would have done anything to get her back, but on the flip side was so incredibly angry that we were even having to go through this in the first place.

We sat in the waiting room for a good 30 minutes before we were called. Not saying a single word to one another. We were called into a general room where we had to fill out some paper work, and were told that they would call us in separately. WOOP! Finally a break. I wouldn’t have to be in the same room as her.

This kind, gentle old woman called my name, and into the room I went. I can only describe this room as an interrogation style room. She began asking me questions, asking me what I would like to see out of this situation, what kind of custody I was looking for, how I seen this working with me living 4 hours away.

I informed them that for now, I would like to see my kids every second weekend, I would pay child support, and as far as any assets and belongings we would split that and move on with our lives. The lady told me that i’m not being unreasonable, and that I could probably ask for more time, but because of the distance that every second weekend would be more attainable.

Her Turn

She was in there for what seemed to be 22 hours….. I was waiting nervously, having NO idea what kinda lies she was telling, or how degrading she was being. …. Then she exits. Following her is the sweet old lady that I chatted with. I was happy to see her. For some reason unknown to me, I felt like this lady was on my side….. but.. i’m sure Trudy felt the same way. I supposed this lady is supposed to make you feel comfortable.

So here I am waiting to have all three of us in a room to hash this out. Nope… come back next week.

WTF.

Seriously? I’m sick of playing games. I want my kids, and I want to be able to see them now.

ADVICE BLURB: IF AT ANY POINT DURING YOUR SEPARATION, YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH MEDIATION. KEEP CONTACT WITH YOUR EX. PLAY NICE. BE NICE. BE CIVIL. I LEARNED VERY QUICKLY THAT BEING COLD AND NOT KEEPING IN TOUCH TO DISCUSS THESE ISSUES, MADE EVERYTHING 100 PERCENT WORSE. STAY CIVIL, GET ALONG BE FRIENDS…. IT WILL HELP YOU SO MUCH

A week goes by, and I’m on my way back to mediation. This is all still very new to me. My stomach is churning, i’m nervous… I honestly have no idea whats going to happen.

Today I beat her to the office… Moral Victory!!! A few minutes later Trudy walks in.. Celebration ended. A few minutes go by and that sweet old lady calls us both into another room. A round table room. There we are joined by other mediators to help us though. All the issues are laid out, and we get into a discussion about what we want. Assets and Money are all agreed upon. Now to the custody. My dear Trudy is NOT agreeing to every second weekend, and only wants me to have the kids every third weekend… WHAT?…. Yup.. she feels that 4 hours is a lot of driving, and roads aren’t very good in the winter.

I tried to explain that If the roads were bad during the winter months, that I simply wouldn’t take my kids 4 hours back to my home town, I would obviously stay in her city. She wasn’t budging. The mediation lady told her that she was being unreasonable, and that even parents that aren’t involved get more time than that from the judge. She didn’t care. We went back and fourth on this for over 2 hours. Finally it happened.. That sweet old lady that I thought was on my side (and maybe she was) kicked us out of mediation. She determined that because my lovely Trudy would not agree on the one outstanding issue, that we weren’t eligible, and she suggested speaking to our lawyers to resolve this.

So I walk out of this building completely lost once again. Having no clue where to go from here… what about my kids? When do I see them, shes not agreeing to 50/50, shes not agreeing to every second weekend….. sooooo I just don’t get my kids till this is figured??

Somethings gotta give…..

I guess ill meet with my lawyer…. and all I see is dollar signs……….

thebarkingdad@gmail.com

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