Talk about the ol nerves catching up to a guy!! I promised last week that I would hit the ground running THIS week with my blog… and here I am. (Look at me following my own deadline!) Its nerve racking and scary, but I’m reallllllllly hoping that my content and advice will resonate with atleast 1 person. If I can help one person a day through the hardest time of their life, mission accomplished. So here goes:
I’ll forever remember June 20th, 2011. It was literally the day my life was turned upside down. I had been with “Trudy” for 5 years. We were engaged, We had 2 kids, I owned a company that was doing very well, she had a great job…. We were by every standard, A happy couple. What more could a guy want, wife, house, kids, career, amazing family, amazing friends.
Trudy and I rarely fought. Dont get me wrong, there was spats.. disagreements, rarely but sometimes even name calling. Id even venture out to say 95 percent happy, 5 percent not happy.
Before getting into the events of that day… I would like to leap back a week in time. A week earlier, we were asked by our good friends to join them at their family cottage. We had been planning the wedding, and it was starting to take a toll, so we figured that a lil vacation would be perfect. While driving out to the cabin, Trudy was pushing and pushing for me to ask my friend to stand up with me at our wedding. (which i was gonna do anyway) So I did.. and he accepted.
The week went amazing, we planned the wedding, we had drinks… we socialized.. we made love.. the week was great. Sunday came and we headed home.
Monday June 20th, 2011- As wrote earlier, it was a beautiful, normal day. I gave her a kiss, told her I loved her and away I went to work. After putting in a 12 hour day which was a very normal day, I finished eating and was met with a “can i talk to you for a second” I replied “of course” She sat me down and the words I never in my wild dreams thought I would ever hear out of her mouth came spewing out. “I cant marry you”
My face felt paralized. I didnt know what to say. I searched for answers.. asked why, begged her to tell me what I did. It didnt make sense… I was lost.
She gave me excuses like ” i need to try things on my own” or ” I feel like I missed out on being young” or ” you always leave your socks behind the bathroom door”… yep you heard that last one right.
So she was leaving….
I was heartbroken.. I cried for hours.. for days… even a week… I was lost. My best friend was leaving my side, and I had no idea how I would navigate through life. She was taking my kids, and moving 4 hours away, which at the time, I didnt see an issue with that. We were going to be amicable, she wasnt going to keep my kids from me, it was fine. I would make it work.
ADVICE BLURB— UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCE DO YOU EVER LET HER/HIM TAKE YOUR KIDS AWAY. FIGHT IT FROM THE START. HAVE AN ASSESSMENT BY THE COURTS DONE, AND DO NOT LET THEM BE TAKEN. IT IS SUPER HARD TO EVER HAVE THAT REVERSED AFTER YOU LET THEM LEAVE… MORE ON THAT LATER.
She lived in our house for another month before she left. It gave me a month to try and change her mind. It didnt work. What it did do was cause a month of pain and agony. I spent a month sleeping in the same bed as her, rubbing her back, cuddling, being an ear … trying to be the guy that she wanted me to be. I held on to hope. Stupid choice.
Aug 22, 2011, she moved out, took my kids, and left. Leaving me searching for answers. What to do… im 30 years old… is this the end for me?
To be continued……